More often than not we will face the problem of jealousy in personal relationships. Especially as men we will sooner or later loose our girl if we can’t handle personal jealousy and deal with the fact that our girl will be attractive also to other men. In fact, even though many women try to make their boyfriend jealous on purpose in order to get attention, acting jealous will still run most women off and signal them a lack of confidence and security. All in all, jealousy will always harm relationships and destroy the connection between both men and women. In order for you to know how to handle jealousy and what mindset to attain about it, we put together this article so that you yourself will become less jealous and more trustful.
- As you start to feel jealous, breath deeply and stay present
Even though the long term goal is to get out of jealousy, first we have to learn that it exists, that it is a natural phenomena and that we first have to be able to handle the emotion. No one will ever be able to cut an emotion just like that without going through the process of first taking conscious control of his thoughts and then as he adopts a new mindset about the emotion slowly letting it diminish.
Whenever you start to feel the emotion of jealousy don’t try to suppress it, but instead, let it run though your body without judging it and with pure curiosity for the emotion itself. As you stay present to the moment and don’t get into your head while accepting the emotion as something interesting to experience, you will learn to control your anger or disappointment.
Never act out of reaction when you are run by jealousy. Always try to leave the place if you feel that you can not hold it or simply and the conversation and take some time for yourself. Reacting out of an emotional state will NEVER be helpful in such a situation and simply make things worse than they are.
2. Learn to communicate your feelings
Instead of trying to hide your jealousy or suppressing the emotion, try to communicate your feelings with your partner. Always remember that whenever you suppress something, it doesn’t diminish but instead it cuts deeper into your subconscious and grows until at some point you can’t hold it anymore. Almost all break ups happens because of some form of resentment building up in ones mind while mind fucks and negative feelings start to run ones whole focus. As this gets worse and worse, people start to focus more and more on all the negative aspects of their partner which they ignored before, until they finally start to shift completely and the love dies.
Whenever you feel some form of resentment, after you have learned to control your emotions and not instantly react as you feel the emotion, you can start to look for a interdependent conversation where you do not attack your partner but simply give him space to explain himself. The big rule here is to not make your partner instantly defend himself by saying something like „I noticed you said „XYZ“ yesterday how did you mean that? I’m sure I got it wrong so I just wanted to ask and make sure there is no misunderstanding“.
If she then explains herself and you still feel bad about what happened or what she said, simply tell her that you actually got hurt from that and that this kind of behavior makes her less attractive to you and that you don’t want this to happen because you care about your view of her as the perfect women for you. Also tell her that you want to work on this since you noticed you sometimes feel a little bit jealousy and that you don’t think this is good for a healthy working relationship. Any women that is not extremely insecure and needs the attention or completely unexperienced with man will understand this and try to work together towards a better relationship.
3. Accept that your women doesn’t belong to you
Often times when we get into a relationship, we start to feel that our partner belongs to us and that we own him to some degree. Always remember that you don’t own your partner! Also remember that even though you want to make the relationship work long term, it’s still an experience which might end at some point. Never make the mistake to think that you have to stay together with this one person until you die or otherwise you won’t be happy again. As you start to detach more and more from your partner and you realize that you should simply view the relationship as an experience worth having, you will start to feel less jealous and be fine with her also being attracted towards other guys. In the end, after a couple has been together for a few years, also you as a men will look at other women again and feel some kind of attraction for them. Now notice that this doesn’t mean you necessarily want to sleep with them and it also doesn’t mean that you don not love your girl beyond anything, it simply means that your survival gene is working and that you feel some form of attraction also towards other human beings.
4. Find your own purpose
As you start to work more and more on your own self improvement and you have a higher purpose as a man which you live for, things like jealousy or mistrust will gradually start to look like smaller and smaller problems. Not just that improving you own financial situation, fitness, nutrition, spiritual connection, relationships, career and style will make you feel more self confident, it will also draw your attention away from this one relationship towards the bigger picture of your life. No one can feel gratitude and passion at the same time as he is jealous. Improve yourself and you will also know that even if this relationship might end, you could find someone else who is a better fit. So no matter what happens, if your relationship dies or if you stay with your girlfriend and marry her, you will be better of than before.