Yesterday we decided to write our new article about an extremely important issue when it comes to live a happy life. The topic of „How to treat people“ means a lot due to the fact that many people are struggling with showing emotions and treating people so that they would feel better about themselves. In order for you to learn dealing better with people, we wrote down 10 simple rules to follow when it comes to communication with others.
1. The biggest rule when it comes to dealing with people in general is the fact, that everbody wants to feel important and valuable to others.
Dale Carniegie talks about this concept in his book „How to win friends and influence people“ which we highly recommend If you would like to improve your interpersonal skills. Whenever someone is offended by your words or actions, it means that you made them feel less important or valuable.
2. Be yourself. In order to cope with people always be yourself and don‘t try to be someone else. But don‘t get this wrong, you should always strive for being your best self. Never use being yourself as an excuse for not improving your character, but as well if you are trying to fake your hobbies, humor or other peculiarities, people will sense your incongruence and mistrust you.
3. Treat every single person with respect as long as they they don‘t attack you verbally or trying to put you down. Phrases like „Excuse me“, „Sorry for bothering you“ or „Thank you so much, I really appreciate your help“ are key in day to day life situations.
4. Don’t ever talk bad behind the back of others. Gossip is a big weakness in our humanity and we should‘t fall into the trap of trying to socialize by putting others down.
5. Always point out your own mistakes before criticizing someone else. Doing this will prevent that the person ist going to be hurt. You should as well mention something that the person did well, so that he is motivated to take your critics just as an invitation to improve.
6. Show people who are important to you that you actually care about them. This is a huge one. We are often times the least friendly with our family, partners and friends, due to the fact that wie take them for granted. If you are a very busy person and you are not able to meet up with them, you can at least call them or send them a little text like „Hi, thought of you today. I am very busy in the moment but I just wanted to ask how things are going for you“. This will show them that you actually care and you‘ll get much happier with time by doing this.
7. Make people feel happy about themselves. Whenever you admire something about somebody, tell him or her without wanting anything in return. You should always give people sincere appreciation for what they do and what they are. Don‘t just give people random compliments with the intention of making them like you more. People will feel your dishonesty and this won‘t get you anywhere.
8. Listen. Sounds simple right ? In order to be a good communicator, we analyzed many conversations in different situations and I realized that everybody is actually just interrested in himself. In fact, the most often words I heard were „my“, „me“ and „I“. Additionally, people aren‘t even properly responding to each other. Many conversations I heard were similar to this one.
A: „Dude, I hate dogs“
B:“Haha man I love them, dogs are so nice. I once had one“
A:“Nah a dog once bit me. I was so scared“
B:“My dog would never bite. I bought him as a baby“
Do you see the problem ? People are just focused on themselves. Try it out for yourself. Listen to some conversations and you will see that everybody is actually just talking about himself and that there is rarely someone who is interested in the other person. We call this low level communivation. Next time when you talk to someone and he is making a statement about himself, ask him questions about it. Insetad of telling your own opinion or story ask him for the why, the how or the when. Let people talk about themselves and listen carefully to what they have to say. Then, when they get the feeling that there is sombody who is actually listening to them, they will get interrested in you as well. They‘ll ask you back and you will experience a much more enjoyable conversation.
9. Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself. Nearly everybody knows this quote but who is actually living it? You don‘t even have to overblow this, just think of it in a simple way. Do you feel good when people forget your name? Do you like it when someone makes fun of you ? Would you like to be barred by a group? The answer to these questions might be no, so why do we then hurt others by doing these kind of things? Pull yourself together and start treating others the way you would like to be treated.
10. Ask others what your weaknesses in terms of dealing with people are. Everybody makes his own personal mistakes in dealing with people. Some people may be too arrogant whereas others simply don‘t listen carefully enough. Often times we don‘t even see our weaknesses and therefore we should ask close friends and family for their honest opinion. Ask them about your weaknesses and your best characteristics. Write everything down and dont‘t get offended by any opinion. You should acutally take it as a compliment that they think you can handle their honest view. Next, you will start noticing when you treat people wrong again and you are going to change.