The bigger our Mission gets the more likely are people to become serious. By rapidly increasing responsibility our faces get clenched more and more and we forget about humor. So in situations where we have too much to handle it’s obviously harder to respond to jokes like back then as a kid.
But there is still hope for us! There seems to be a way for finding the right balance between fun and purpose. Anyways, first of all, we have to make sure that both sides are nourished. One without the other will always make us feel like something is missing. Only amusing around without a clear mission makes life meaningless. On the other hand being serious all the time – especially when we are often alone – kills our creativity and leads into a fucked up reward system additionally. So what can we do to have the right kind of humor set for the day? Here is our advice on how to build up the humor of a real man.
Don’t put others down
So first things first, you don’t need to put other people down in order to be funny. Yes, we know that the whole group is entertained by making fun of one member – and often times it’s not even causing much damage – but always try to go for the spontaneous jokes about happenings, not people.
We are here for lifting other people up. If they don’t deserve any support in your eyes, just ignore them. That’s even way more effective than putting someone down. If you remember your and my starting days, we also had not that kind of self-security we have right now. Back then I remember being very reactive towards jokes from others on my costs. We all know, they just create more drama than needed. Making jokes about other people is definitely no long-term solution for building great friendships.
There are better jokes which are even uplifting. In our group, we use to make jokes about the future, e.g. what dumb activities we have in mind and what could happen. And they often times really happen and are fun! Philosophize about the reactions people will give you when you do another group challenge or imitate funny roles you know. Or just laugh suddenly about something – even that is great – as long as you don’t fall into the trap of making too many jokes about others.
No need to force fun
Do you know these situations where we fall into an unknown environment and the general atmosphere just seems very clinched? Either a new date, workgroup or an event where you know nobody. Whatever it is, don’t force the fun. People in general, want to have fun, that’s something we all have in common. So by losing up and a bit of time, the fun will just come by itself.
What adds up on that is, that we need to be self-confident regarding in our humor in order to loosen up. Because humor is something we all have inside of us. It’s nothing to be found. Of course, collecting inspiration for humor will increase your asset of fun skills, but in the end, fun is not something we have to learn. Just think of yourself: Do you know these sudden jokes that come up in our minds while someone else talks? Some of them we deliver instantly, some of them we keep for ourselves. The jokes we trot out – fine! Humor is almost always some kind of value. But what about the fun we don’t share? It’s a sign of lacking self-confidence. And keep in mind that our self-confidence is never the same for all the people we talk to. I’m sure we can improve on our self-confidence when we talk to our boss in comparison to the people we already know for long.
The best humor is the one which comes spontaneously from the heart. It’s similar to an authentic smile. Thinking our way into smiling won’t give us real results. The best smile is always spontaneous. So in order to survive too serious situations, don’t force yourself to be funny. Instead, chill out, lay back, ask something and listen. We can always create something funny out of a normal sentence. If not, the last hope lies in the imitation roleplays.
Be the first who makes fun of himself
When you are the first one who makes jokes about you, you save yourself from becoming a scapegoat. When you are the first one who makes jokes about your nose, why should someone else do then also? You already proved that you don’t take superficial things so seriously. The whole point in making jokes about others is to provoke an attached reaction. So when you already made a joke about yourself there is no reason for someone else to do so. I know, in reality, it’s not always like that and people still continue making jokes even if your „laughing-about-oneself-skills“ are godlike. Still, this approach will save you a lot of silly joke competitions. And in general, being really able to laugh about oneself makes life so much easier and fun.
On the contrary, be careful with this approach. Make jokes of yourself and the whole group. But don’t go too far just seeking for a laugh on unreasonable costs. You are no chimp, you are a man! People will take advantage of you if you don’t show any lines. That would just poison your relationships. Stable friendships need a set of rules, otherwise, you will break the reward system. And a fucked up reward system will make any relationship ill. So be the first one with the jokes about yourself, but stay aware of what is enough.
With Humor, we can get our message absorbed
Don’t forget that humor is a side value. Life is not about fun. It is about creating something of value for the future. But we can still enjoy the road, and we also have to. At last, keep in mind that people will always get your message better with some kind of humor. We can receive information a lot easier when we are also in a receiving state. Imagine, someone is tightened all up and you want to give him a life lesson. Your message will just slip away, he won’t be able to listen sincerely.
Humor is a tool and nice wrapping for our purpose, mission and „seriousness“ on life. Make use of it and you will experience great results!